What I Learned About Bullying When It Was Too Late
- Rousse Lavalle
- Jul 10, 2025
- 2 min read
I'll never forget how my outlook on life changed in the mirror. I'd gone from being a confident professional to someone who doubted her own worth. It all started with a simple misunderstanding that no one bothered to resolve.
The conflict that should never have escalated
It all started years ago, when I expressed a different opinion in a team meeting. What seemed like a simple exchange of ideas gradually became personal.
I didn't see what was coming next.
What I learned the hard way is that bullying always begins with an unresolved conflict. A disagreement that could have been resolved with a frank conversation, but instead becomes personal when someone decides the only solution is to get rid of the person who thinks differently.
The signs I suffered in silence
Now I can recognize the stages I went through: at first, it was just tension; I felt like someone perceived me as a threat. Then, almost imperceptibly, the stigmatization began: negative comments about my work, exclusion from important meetings, knowing glances when I spoke.
The most painful thing to remember was the third stage: the incorrect diagnosis. "Maybe you don't fit into our culture," was the devastating phrase I heard from my superiors.
So the company had become an unwitting accomplice, labeling me as the problem.
The price I paid
By the time I realized what was happening to me, I was already at the expulsion stage. My physical and emotional health had deteriorated significantly. I voluntarily isolated myself to avoid further suffering, while the company subtly removed me "so I wouldn't harm others."
Eventually, I left that organization, but I didn't just leave a job behind. I also temporarily lost my confidence, my professional security, and a part of my identity. I had to rebuild myself from the ground up.
What I do differently now
The recovery was slow, but transformative. Today, from my new professional position, I understand that resolving conflicts early isn't optional—it's essential.
I've learned to recognize early warning signs, to document problematic situations, and, above all, to value environments where there is genuine respect for diverse opinions.
And most importantly, I've come to understand that bullying isn't just a problem between two people—it's a systemic failure in an organization's culture that allows conflict to escalate into harassment.
Have you experienced or witnessed similar situations? Were you able to identify what stage the conflict was in? What would you do differently if you recognized these signs today?
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This blog is complemented by the microlearning program "Stages of Bullying," which I developed as part of my commitment to creating healthy and respectful work environments.
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